Wednesday, September 23, 2009

television's stream of consciousness like fragments


It’s going to show.  We’re walking up the stairs and we’re going to be interviewed.  I don’t want my life, which is affecting me, to affect my performance.  I am flipping out.  It’s Eve.  I love Eve.  I cannot even function.  So what was your inspiration for Fetish?  That is fantastic! Oh, you are so beautiful, you’re gorgeous.  So is it something that you’d say young people can wear?  That is really wonderful, I really like it.  You’ll kind of babble on for a little bit and you’ll develop a question.  So at any point in your career did you feel like you just couldn’t do it anymore?  Will you be having your own store?  I said . . . I was nervous, but once I started to ask the questions, the nervousness went away.  The winner of this challenge will actually get their interview played on E!  I knew going into this challenge that I needed to win it. 

It’s nerve-racking because now there’s seven girls left.  We’re all going to do our best to make sure this is a nice, clean environment.  We’re going to be dead?!  I don’t need to be dealing with death right now, I just don’t need this.  I’m sitting next to Kahlen and she immediately just folds over and begins sobbing.  It’s messed up.  Each and every one of you will have to portray one of these deadly sins at the bottom of this eight foot grave.  My mind is blank, I just completely go blank.

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I’ve kind of suppressed it, and this morning it was just like bam!  And you have no choice but to address it.  What’s wrong, do you want to talk about it?  No.  Why don’t you take a break?  Ok.  So who are you?  I am sloth.  This is something that would appear in something like a high European fashion magazine.  We get caught up in all sorts of stuff that slows us down.  This . . . I get a sense of sloth.  Michelle is a little weird, so she was like this is cool, this is cool, which is weird.  This is going to be a lot easier than before.  Ok, Michelle, you’re proud, you’re pride.  Michelle came across as a beauty queen on acid.  This is a hard day for Kahlen.  I’m just heart broken.  Today, my sin will be greed.  I find this a little difficult to get into, because I’m not a greedy person.  I don’t want this to look like a circus.  I am the sin of lust.  And I have to be very sexual.  I feel like a beautiful girl, but I don’t feel like a very sexy girl.  Picture you’re body as a lust machine.  Ok, ten bucks, that’s a little cheap.  Oh yeah, there it is, right there.  This is the first day we actually got emotion out of Christina, but of course, it’s like pulling teeth.  So I tried not to think about it.  Wrath has to be anger, but I’m trying not to feel anything right now.  Every bit of might in your body, I want to see it.  Don’t act it, be it.  Like scream. 

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